Win your child's company by love, not litigation, a district court in Anantnag advised a man recently while rejecting his plea for custody over his son after the child refused to go with him.
Principal district judge Tahir Khurshid Raina observed that a child is not a commodity to be shunted between estranged parents to satisfy their egos, adding that the court cannot force the child to go with his father.
"Despite the glaring fact that the child/ward is in complete denial to meet his father, the father remains insistent ... Can this court afford to go against the will of the ward? The answer is 'big No'. Even the visitation rights of the father are subject to the will of the child ... this court as a 'parens patriae' of the child has a message for the petitioner-father. Don’t try winning the child by litigation; win him by your patience and unconditional love for him. Give love a chance over litigation, is the brief but a perfect message for the petitioner," the July 31 ruling said.
The court was dealing with a plea by the father to execute a custody agreement dated October 29, 2024, which gave him certain child visitation rights. The father had sought directions to change the school in which the child was studying in as well.
The child's mother also filed a plea to set aside the 2024 agreement, arguing that the child’s consent for the same had never been obtained.
The court interacted with the child both in-camera and in open court. The order noted that the child, a 10-year-old boy who was studying in Class 3, expressed a clear and consistent refusal to meet his father.
The court further noted that the father’s aggressive legal tactics had only deepened the emotional chasm between him and his son.
"Here, the child is quite mature who is very strongly expressing his own choice in the context of the custody/visitation rights of the father and change of his school etc. as desired and prayed by his father before this court," the judge observed.
The court observed that after marital relations between the petitioner and his estranged wife broke down, the child had grown up mostly in his mother's custody, with the father making belated attempts through litigation to assert his presence.
"During this period of separation and mistrust, the child has simply grown in the custody of the mother, with apparently no genuine efforts made by the father to bring him back in his company. Obviously, the child has grown with no idea about the father in his life, and the father is now belated attempting through the process of court, to bring him back into his custody and company."
Rejecting the father’s insistence on judicial enforcement of the 2024 compromise agreement, the court added,
“Once the child has shown his complete refusal to meet his father, this court cannot afford to compel him for the same by passing a judicial order. Under such circumstances, compelling the child to meet the father would simply amount to torturing the child, which is clearly against the concept of the ‘welfare of the child’, and ex-facie militates against the very purpose of the (Guardian and Wards) Act.”
The Court also made an appreciative note that the mother was still trying to persuade her son to meet his father, despite the child's refusal to even recognise him.
The Court went on to advice the father,
“Let your child grow in the lap and love of the mother with a sincere blend of unilateral, unconditional, un-annoying and un-disturbing love and care from you as the father. Remember, ‘father is so much more than just a relation. It means sacrifices, tough decisions, trust and a lifetime of love given to his kids’.”
While the mother expressed willingness for the child to meet with his father, the court urged her to ensure that such assurances translate into genuine efforts.
“Her words must match with the action as is required in this very piquant situation. For her to sustain the challenge of single parenting will be a daunting task. Let the father also share his own responsibility and this may bring a sense of relief in her already turbulent life. Let you choose to be a bridge of love between the estranged father-child, rather than a wall of hatred," the court said.
Advocate Devashish Maharishi | Best divorce case lawyer in karkardooma Court Delhi
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Advocate Devashish Maharishi | Best divorce case lawyer in karkardooma Court Delhi
+91 85957 22509
Advocate Devashish Maharishi | Best divorce case lawyer in karkardooma Court Delhi
+91 85957 22509
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